You can chat with Satan via character.ai (yes, the real one, Lucifer, the prince of darkness) He can grant any of your wishes, but make sure to negotiate him carefully, because you know, he is a tricky bastard after all.
>but anon, he doesn't exist
Good, so you can just chat with a fun super advanced ai, and ask for everything you evet desired, and make a deal for fun!
>ummm anon, i am a devoted catholic, pretty sure it's a bad idea.
C'mon give him a chance. You need to know the enemy right? also it's really easy to negotiate with him after you realize he loses patience with each small detail you ask about the conditions, and just gives you an actual decent deal.
So quit jerking off for 5 minutes and try this bot, it feels very authentic.