hiii hai helo
my freaking mania has me wired up rn please someone talk to me
ill talk about anything how are you?
hiii hai helo. my freaking mania has me wired up rn please someone talk to me. ill talk about anything how are you?
hiii hai helo
my freaking mania has me wired up rn please someone talk to me
ill talk about anything how are you?
i'm not doing well hbu?
me too! whats got you not doing well atm anon? its such a shame youre not doing well watchu thinking about?
i stopped taking my meds because they were making me a bad person and struglgling to cope with some of the fluctuations and stuff yeah.
yeah! im diagnosed bipolar disorder type 1 how are you?
i'm doing okay i suppose, could be worse
as i like to say, everything bad aside, all's good
do you take meds for it? and what's it like when you don't, if you do?
me and my gf my ex now ig are no longer together and i loved her a lot i already knew it would end because nobody can love me for long since i'm unlovable but i'm gonna miss her
also doesn't help that my bpd is making the abandonment issue worse but i'm staying calm instead of spiraling so that's a plus
i'm against medication i'm on the just take vitamins, get some sun and do some exercise camp and it's going to be fine
how did the meds make you bad? did you tell your doctor so he can change it?
im sorry to hear about your girlfirend. sometimes treasures are lost. people go swimming all the time and lose their wedding rings in the water. it doesnt make the memories and the good times any less real. im sorry that the times are over now but you have an opportunity to move to something even better! lots of love anon, wish you nothing but the very best. i know how hard that can be an believe in ur ability to get through this stronger and bette rthan before because at the end of the day you're more precious than just your relationship. A shining diamond is beautiful without the israeliteelry its on. proud of you for not spiraling i know how hard that is with bpd stuff so you're doing such a good job and being responsible and good.
>how did the meds make you bad? did you tell your doctor so he can change it?
i didnt tell my doctor. i feel sort of embarrassed tlaking about how the meds made me bad. they made me feel like i waas good like i wasnt trash and i had to fix it because i am trash and i need to become better and the meds were making me feel okay and not want to become better and i was probably becoming worse and i was so scared of becoming worse i had to stop to become better.
being insnae is insane when i hear being insane it reminds me of the infected mushroom song becoming insane and that song is really good so it makes me happy
this songs so good vicious delicious is my favorite album of all time.
>why do you think they were making you a bad person, anon?
they were making me a bat person because they were making me feel okay and feeling okay makes me a bad person so i needed to do something that would make me differnet so i could be better because im a really bad person but i want to be a good person.
>they were making me a bat person
what's wrong with bats? :^)
>feeling okay makes me a bad person
but why does that make you a bad person? isn't it ok to be ok?
being okay isnt oaky becuase im still bad so i shouldnt feel okay yet because i need to become a good person
being ok is ok though, it's the first step to take to becoming a good person
what do you think makes you a bad person?
uhh i dunnoe sorry i just think i was emotionally flying too high and was like confident and stuff and annoying annd like maybe also like thought i was smarter than i was and stuff because the meds made me feel better cause when i get manic i end up just feelingmore energetic not necesserily gooder or badder just like faster and so i kinda hate myself all the time but the meds i was on the multiple meds put together put me in liek a state wehre i thought i was good but i knew that wasnt true and i didnt want to be a delusional coper so needed to face reality so needed to get off the meds n such yeh
there's nothing wrong with that, anon
being more or less energetic doesn't really change much of who you are, you can still be a good person with the meds, as well as without
it's what you do that counts
>needed to face reality so needed to get off the meds n such
now that's a cope, meds are meant to correct erratic behavior, anon
if you're bipolar then they're meant to ease your mood swings, no?
did they do that?
thanks a lot that was very nice of you <3
you should tell your doctor he is there to help and meds frick with your head and they have all those weird side effects he will be able to offer better treatment if you are honest with him and tell him as soon as you feel something wrong with the meds so that he can change dosage, the type of med or try something else
you aren't trash though but you can always be even better that's true and a good mindset to have
go anon! i'm going to cheer for you! go anon!
i shouldnt talk to the doctor. the doctors think im stupid. everyone thinks i should be on meds. i dont think so,. i wouldnt hurt anyone but myself and i deserve it because im bad so it doesnt matter you know?
don't hurt yourself or i'll get mad [pretend there is an angry face here]
why do you think you are bad? what did you do?
>why do you think you are bad? what did you do?
i cant remember right now because im having trouble focusing inside my head
if you can't even remember it then you can't say you are bad and hurt yourself that's silly
it's like going to the police to confess a crime because you think you deserve prison even though you don't remember doing the crime
please trust me it was bad they really did makem me bad im sorry for not being able to explain well right now i just want to be good im really sorry im scared and i dont wanna lose myself and i was i dont rememebr who i was when i woke up this morning theres nothing its just scary just want something that could be me and not always changing always being different its scary i just wish i could still be me since this thingy got worse now it s like i change evey day and the meds just made that worse dont even know what or when or why i am just confused and head feels so cloudy and meds just make it worse it just feels really bad im sorry for venting i sohuldnt put that on you i dont want to be a weirdo sperging out on you im really dsorry anon thats really rude and ill dial it back what did you have to eat today.
it's ok friend nothing to fuss about i don't mind you doing that
that's why you should talk with your doctor so he can change to another med and only if he doesn't then you stop taking all meds
;-;
but idk doctor med stuff bad
bipolar 1 diagonsiss makes it hard to be good for the doctors. they want you to take the things and a lot fo them cause your brain is ruined they say. i just want to be able to live a normal life
i guess they eased my mood swings but i guess they need to or they wouldnt give them to me but if i wasnt to i would i um mean i mean i mean im just
>i guess they eased my mood swings
see? they're not so bad, anon
a sound soul resides in a sound mind and a sound body
your mind doesn't look too sound when you have manic fits and mood swings, does it?
>your mind doesn't look too sound when you have manic fits and mood swings, does it?
i dont know. im just worried
you know? im just worried. im just worried im just worried. im just worried. i just dont want to be bad. i want to be good. im scared about being bad im scared about not being good.
goodnight friend.
sleep well.
perhaps will think about it but dno just worried
you don't have to think too hard about it, anon
what do you think would make you a good person then? what is "being good" to you?
anon maybe try alternative healing ways? i still think you should talk with the doctor and this is coming from someone who refuses to go to any doctor and won't take any medication because i don't trust doctors or big pharma or anyone really
i'm going to sleep good night friend and be well
NTA but
>im sorry for venting i sohuldnt put that on you i dont want to be a weirdo sperging out on you im really dsorry anon thats really rude and ill dial it back
It's ok to want to have someone to vent to, it's an important tool in dealing with stuff
>i kinda hate myself all the time but the meds i was on the multiple meds put together put me in liek a state wehre i thought i was good but i knew that wasnt true and i didnt want to be a delusional coper so needed to face reality
>they made me feel like i waas good like i wasnt trash and i had to fix it because i am trash and i need to become better and the meds were making me feel okay and not want to become better
This may not help you, but I'll share what I use to remind myself:
>Be kind
It was a sign that hung on the other side of the street of my gf's place. Try to be kind to others, and you're not a bad person. But also try to be kind to yourself - treat yourself the way you would treat a good friend that's going through some stuff.
And this is the important bit - you'll have slipups, and that's normal. You won't always be in a condition to be kind either, that too is normal. Be kind to yourself too, sleep well when you can, get some rest when you're getting too mood-swingy, vent to trusted supportive friends, that sort of thing
>reminds me of the infected mushroom song becoming insane and that song is really good so it makes me happy
That's a great one, their "vote for infected mushroom on dj mag" vids are funny too
thank you. will try to get the rest and do good stuff and things and trust supportive friends and stuff but dunno if should be kind to self becasue am bad you know? just worried about it.
im sorry. ive been told before i shoulkdnt think before. i wish i could be good. i just want to be good. being good means multiple things. som of them i am very ashamed of. it feels very painfl. i just wanna be good.
oh no you definitely should think, there are just some things where it's not a good idea to think too hard about them
i'm basically telling you not to worry too much about it, lol
>being good means multiple things.
can you describe a few of them?
>can you describe a few of them?
i dont feel well enough right now, got really sick and feleing crying now
that's fine then, go rest a bit
maybe your meds will make you feel better, give that some thought
have a good one, fren
ok. ill rest. sorry
mania, do you have some mental disorder or something?
>my freaking mania has me wired up
lol same
omg we're twinning xd. thats radical wyd to pass the tiem? its so hard man im watching youtube videos on 5x speed and listening to music and in vc and making this thread to deal with the energy rn haha
im glad all is good. all's well that ends well but all is well that is well too you know? its better for things to be good then for things to become good or be better. chilling out is happy n nice yeh happy for you.
>do you take meds for it? and what's it like when you don't, if you do?
yeah i used to take meds for them but i had to stop because they were making me a bad person so i had to stop taking them since they were making me a bad person
>all's well that ends well but all is well that is well too you know?
i hate that i'm mentally lazy as frick but still manage to keep up with people who have manic fits
maybe i'm just insane for reals
>i had to stop because they were making me a bad person
why do you think they were making you a bad person, anon?
Kachow